B-Side 11: "Paradise" – The Sheridan Tapes
CONTENT WARNING: Loud noises, existential dread, unreality, paranoia, and terror
B-Side 11: After a year of betrayals, revelations, and fear, Bill and Rob find themselves kicking up their feet on a tropical beach…
Starring Chris Martin as Robert Quincy and Jesse Steele as Bill Tyler, with original music by Jesse Haugen.
This episode was made possible by our supporters at Patreon.com/homesteadcorner, ko-fi.com/homesteadcorner, and our backers on Seed&Spark.
For more information, additional content, and episode transcript, visit thesheridantapes.com
Script
Transcript
CONTENT WARNING: Loud noises, existential dread, unreality, paranoia, and terror
[Gentle waves lap on a tropical beach]
[Seagulls]
[Soft reggae music plays on a small bluetooth speaker nearby]
[Rob sits up from a creaking beach chair]
Robert Quincy
Hey Billy, can you pass the sunblock?
Bill Tyler
Sure thing, love.
[Bill hands him the sunblock]
Robert Quincy
Thanks.
[Rob squirts out the sunblock]
Bill Tyler
You want some help with that?
Robert Quincy
If you don’t mind?
Bill Tyler
Anything for you.
[Bill and Rob shift, Bill applies sunblock to Rob’s back]
[Rob sighs contentedly]
Robert Quincy
This is so nice.
Bill Tyler
I know, right? Everyone always says how nice it is in Fiji, but…
[He whistles]
It’s one of those things you can’t really believe until you see it.
Robert Quincy
The pictures just don’t do it justice, do they? It just… doesn’t even feel real, you know?
[Single pop of static in the music]
Bill Tyler
Mhm. But it is real. We’re finally here.
Robert Quincy
Finally. We really earned this, didn’t we?
Bill Tyler
We’ve earned a lifetime on this beach, if you ask me. Especially you.
Robert Quincy
Me? What did I do? You’re the one who got kidnapped.
Bill Tyler
You… You saved me. This past year has been so messed up and I just… I really wasn’t sure if I was ever gonna feel okay again.
Robert Quincy
Oh, oh Bill—
Bill Tyler
No, no I’m alright, really. I just never really told you how much I appreciate what you did. I was in a bad place and I didn’t want to drag you down with me so I… I pushed you away. It wasn’t fair… and I’m so sorry for that.
Robert Quincy
Hey, listen… it’s okay. Really. It’s so far in the past now, I… I almost forgot about it, honestly. I haven’t thought about that in a while.
Bill Tyler
Ancient history, [he laughs] I guess.
Robert Quincy
…do you want to talk about it? I didn’t mean to shut you down.
Bill Tyler
No, no I just… I forgot about it too. I try not to think about it, but it’s just… so much.
Robert Quincy
We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Whatever you need, okay?
Bill Tyler
I don’t know what I need.
[Silence for a moment]
Robert Quincy
Can I tell you something funny about it?
Bill Tyler
About the thing with Morrison?
Robert Quincy
No, but… about the same time.
Bill Tyler
Uh… sure.
Robert Quincy
You’re gonna laugh.
Bill Tyler
I’m not gonna laugh, love.
Robert Quincy
Oh you’re absolutely going to laugh.
Bill Tyler
[He sighs, then shifts in his chair] I promise — I will not laugh.
Robert Quincy
I thought… I’d convinced myself you had a thing for your new partner.
Bill Tyler
Ned? Rob, I would never—
Robert Quincy
No, I know, that’s… that’s not the embarrassing part. I… [he pauses] I bought a hat.
Bill Tyler
You bought a hat.
Robert Quincy
Yeah you know, a hat. Like a… like a Stetson. Hat.
[Bill makes a noise as if he’s going to speak, but struggles to keep a straight face]
Bill Tyler
You bought a cowboy hat?
Robert Quincy
…yeah.
[Bill bursts out laughing]
Bill Tyler
No…
Robert Quincy
Hey!
[Rob starts laughing too]
Bill Tyler
What did you think that was gonna do? Like if I was into him it was because of the hat?
Robert Quincy
It was irrational, okay? I panicked!
[Bill laughs again, then gathers himself]
Robert Quincy
Anyway, it was too late to take it back so it’s in a box in the closet.
[Bill laughs again]
[He leans over to him]
Bill Tyler
You know I could never, right? I would never go behind your back.
Robert Quincy
I know.
Bill Tyler
You’re the love of my life.
Robert Quincy
And you’re mine.
[Rob notices something]
Oh wow, look at that sunset! Hang on, I wanna take a picture.
[Rummages in his bag for a moment]
Shoot, must’ve left my phone inside.
[He stands and walks across the sand to their nearby rental cabin]
[He climbs the stairs and walks inside]
[A radio on the counter plays similar music to the outside speaker]
[Rob rummages through his bag]
[In the distance, thunder rumbles]
Robert Quincy
Hey Bill? Have you seen my phone?
Bill Tyler (distantly)
What?
Robert Quincy
My phone!
Bill Tyler (distantly)
We didn’t bring them, remember?
Robert Quincy
We didn’t…? What do you mean we didn’t bring them? Of course we brought them! Why would we—
[He rummages through their bags again]
[Bill walks inside]
Bill Tyler
Is everything okay?
Robert Quincy
Bill, I didn’t leave my phone. I would never go to another country and not take my phone with me, that doesn’t make sense.
Bill Tyler
Rob, we agreed that we didn’t want anything distracting us. Don’t you remember?
Robert Quincy
I… I don’t know…
[Static on radio escalates]
Robert Quincy
God, what is wrong with that radio?! I can’t even hear myself think with this stupid thing just— Jesus!
[He hits the button to power it off, then slams his hand down on the counter]
[The waves and seagulls can still be heard in the background]
Bill Tyler
Rob… What’s going on?
Robert Quincy
I don’t know.
[Silence]
How are we even here?
Bill Tyler
What do you mean?
Robert Quincy
How did we get the time off? We quit our jobs… so how did we afford this trip? We’ve been wanting to do this for like 10 years, and then just suddenly we can magically just go?
Bill Tyler
No, we didn’t magically—
Robert Quincy
Bill, can you even remember how we got here? I keep getting this feeling…
Bill Tyler
Don’t say it.
[Thunder rumbles in the distance]
Robert Quincy
I can’t… Where are our passports?
Bill Tyler
Our passports? They’re in the bag.
Robert Quincy
Are you sure?
Bill Tyler
Yeah, we couldn’t have left the country without them.
Robert Quincy
Can I see them?
[Bill crosses to the bags and rummages around]
Bill Tyler
They’re not here. How can they…
Robert Quincy
Oh god…
[Robert joins him, searching the bags]
Robert Quincy
No passports, no phones. My wallet’s here, but… my license is gone.
Bill Tyler
Someone must have taken them while we were outside…
Robert Quincy
Bill, no one else was out here!
[Rob rummages again]
Bill Tyler
But…
Robert Quincy
My debit card, library card… Everything with my name on it is gone. It’s like…
It’s like I don’t exist anymore.
[Thunder rumbles, closer]
Robert Quincy
We never went to Fiji.
Bill Tyler
Sweetheart, listen to me, please… this year has been hell, but it’s behind us now. It doesn’t matter if we lost our stuff… we can worry about that later, okay? Just… just come back to the beach.
Robert Quincy
Bill, please! Something is wrong here, and we can’t just pretend that everything is okay! Oh god, what’s happened to us?
[The sound of wind grows]
Bill Tyler
Rob, please don’t—
[Lightning and thunder outside, very close]
[Bill goes to the door; the wind and waves are growing closer]
[Bill fights with the door]
Bill Tyler
I can’t get the door shut, it’s stuck!
[A branch flies through a nearby window, shattering it]
[Rob cries out in alarm]
[They have to speak up to be heard]
[The cabin groans as the storm begins to rattle its walls]
Bill Tyler
Are… are you okay?
[Wood and glass shattering as the waves crash against the cabin]
Robert Quincy
What do we do!?
Bill Tyler
I… I don’t know… Is this it? Are we dead?
Robert Quincy
I… I don’t know. I don’t… feel dead.
Bill Tyler
If we’re not dead, then what is…
Robert Quincy
Don’t think about it. Give me your hand. (Rob takes Bill’s hand) We’re not done yet… do you hear me?
Bill Tyler
Yeah…
Robert Quincy
We’ve been through too much and survived too long to give up now. Do you hear me? I’m not done living my life with you, and we’re not giving up now! Hang on, please!
[Objects in their cabin rattle]
Bill Tyler
You’re… You’re right. I won’t give up.
Robert Quincy
Promise me.
Bill Tyler
I promise.
[The house begins to tear away]
[The sound of the storm begins to distort, otherworldly]
Bill Tyler
Fuck!
Robert Quincy
Don’t look at the storm, look at me! Look at me!
Bill Tyler
Okay, okay!
Robert Quincy
We’re going to make it, just hold on!
Bill Tyler
I will, I promise!
[The waves and rain rush them, then fade away]
[They find themselves in a void; echoing]
Bill Tyler (muffled, echoing)
I’m holding on… I won’t give up on you… I promise.
End Theme & Credits
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